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Have you ever had a moment of success, a real breakthrough, that you were just bursting to share with someone special, and when you shared it, the person “just wasn’t there for you?” I’m talking about Rejection from a loved one, especially when it concerns something important to you, can really hurt. I picture it as a long thin needle inserted through the deepest part of the heart. The puncture is small but the reach can inflict deep pain each time we replay the rejection in our minds. During the moments we most want support, be it from a close friend, family member or significant other, sometimes we will find they are incapable of giving it. Sometimes others will not understand where we are, where we are going, or what God has called us to do. On other occasions they will understand, but fear, pride or envy will keep them from acknowledging and embracing what they see happening in our lives. This is when we begin to learn how to stand alone - with Christ. Standing with Christ sounds noble, but when it is new to us, it can feel like being lost in a barren landscape with no markers. We need comfort and direction, but have no supplies or compass. We want someone to understand and be supportive, but do not know whom to ask or what to say. Yet all the while, as we look for directions, Jesus is there, waiting for us to seek Him. As we learn to look for Him, we gradually discover He’s been near us all the time. Bit by bit, I’m learning from experience that Jesus is enough, even in times of isolation. In fact, as we fumble our way through that barren landscape, we can find ourselves taking quantum leaps in our closeness to Him, when we finally realize He is the only One on whom we can fully depend. Years spent running for his life drove David, who would become Israel’s greatest king, straight into the arms of God. Those experiences literally taught David to write the book - Psalms - on learning to totally rely on the Lord. Anointed by God to replace Saul as Israel’s king, David had to constantly dodge Saul’s jealousy, fear and attempts to kill him. The resulting strain wasted David’s strength and hope until he believed he would “perish someday by the hand of Saul.” But David never gave up on God, his ultimate Support. When David reached his lowest point, his most extreme feelings of loneliness and despair, he kept crying out to God, and God heard his cry: “The pangs of death surround me, David’s times of struggle taught him to trust God. In David’s deepest periods of aloneness, God used that trust to build a particularly intimate relationship between them, one that earned David the title “a man after God’s own heart.” Trust also taught David to wait on God and to depend on God’s promises. Though God anointed David (by the prophet Samuel) to be king of Israel when he was a teenager, David would not assume the role until he was 30. It would take another seven years for him to gain control over all Israel. Two decades of waiting on God with an open heart enabled David to say: “My soul, wait silently for God alone, Throughout David’s experiences, in good times and bad, David never lost faith in God, and could say as an old man at the end of his life that the Lord had “redeemed my life from every distress” (1 Kings 1:29). Standing alone when you crave companionship is painful. But the pain is necessary to make us see God is enough; without it, we would never place ourselves in a position to understand this truth. In time the pain lessens as we encounter the joy of becoming more intimate with God. Comfort begins to intrude on the frustration and alienation that weighs us down. As we learn to trust Jesus, we begin to experience comfort and understand His assurance is all we need to realize the best He has planned for our lives. As God has started teaching me to trust Him more, bringing me closer to Him and revealing His direction for my life, I was excited to share the news with several people who are very close to me. At the same time, I also had a feeling this wasn’t the best time to reveal the information. But I rushed in anyway, eager and expectant. The response I got was doubt and concern, which felt like buckets of ice tossed on my buds of faith. Since then, the response has varied over time, running hot, lukewarm and cold. Initially the lack of enthusiasm was a real disappointment. “Why can’t they be happy about this?” I whined to myself. I resented their inability to be supportive, their vision framed by logical limitations instead of Godly possibilities. Months later, I’ve come to view this experience as a good one. God is using it to show me His support is enough. As nice as it is to have the backing of others, ultimately God’s support is all that is needed. On the most basic level, He and I are in it alone together. If I - or anyone - trust Jesus fully and choose to live within the special plan He has for each of our lives, Jesus will provide all the backup required, because He is the “I AM,” everything anyone who looks to Him as Lord needs Him to be. There is comfort in knowing that Jesus relates to every nuance of loneliness we’ve lived or will experience. I know he understands, because when He hung on that cross outside Jerusalem more than 2,000 years ago, crucified for every person’s sin for all time, surrounded by crowds that mocked Him and His suffering, He said to His Father: When Jesus was on the cross, experiencing anguish beyond human understanding, Jesus felt totally abandoned. The sin He took on for mankind caused the deepest pain, temporarily separating Jesus from His Father, a break that had never happened before in eternity. I’m glad Jesus felt completely alienated, because it means He’s been through anything I go through and more. No matter how stark the situation, He’s there waiting to hold me and guide me if I ask Him. My prayer life has become more meaningful as I reach out to Him, to walk me through each period of loneliness, and to know Him better as my God and my best friend. With the Lord Jesus, being alone together is not so bad. In fact, it can be pretty good. ©Copyright 2003 Ann Pinkney. All rights reserved. |
when the anticipation of sharing the news was almost as intense as the success itself, and when you revealed it, that someone replied with indifference, maybe resistance, even hostility?